Journey to Our First Home

This year’s been a journey. The house-hunting process is brutal enough on its own. Throw in a pandemic, inflation, and a red-hot housing market, and you’re left wondering if you’ll ever become a homeowner in this lifetime.

But before I go into that, I wanted to take time to reflect on all the places I’ve called home in the last ten years. Living in rented apartments, knowing you’ll never really settle in, and unsure of where you’ll be next is both mentally and physically draining. In college, I bounced from one sublease to the next, trying to get through the days on the cheapest place I could find with the least commitment required.

For me, the concept of home was not the place but the people I was with and a feeling of security in my life. I lived like a nomad, floating around from place to place with a small amount of possessions and a keen ability to adapt to just about any situation. It mirrored the instability in my own life, where I wasn’t satisfied with where I was and kept trying one thing after the next. Home became less of a physical destination, and started to feel more virtual than anything…but that’s a conversation for another metaverse.

A little trip down memory lane…

My first time living away from my family.
Slept on the top bunk where I couldn’t sit up without hitting my head on the ceiling.
Met my best friend who lived 5 doors down on my dorm floor.

My first apartment experience.
Shared the place with a bunch of white girls who held weekly Bible study sessions.
I worked the graveyard shift downstairs at the Taco place. A talkative kid name Simon would visit and bother me for hours at a time.

Paid rent and expenses entirely on my own for the first time.
Slept on an old mattress on the ground.
Split my nights between here and the school library.

I lived in this funky, bohemian part of Rome during my quarter abroad.
I moved in in the dead of summer (hello sweat and mosquitoes) and got to watch the seasons change throughout fall and winter.
I spent 24/7 with my roommates and we got really close by the end of our trip.

I slept on a borrowed futon while my roommate slept on a recliner chair 3 feet away.
She didn’t allow boys in our room while she was home but then screwed herself over with her own rules when she got a boyfriend.
Okay I honestly didn’t spend much time here.

Spent this summer interning at an architecture firm, where my salary barely covered rent.
I lived in a curtained-off living room. There were no doors.
I had roof access and watched some magnificent sunsets.

My roommate’s cat loved following me around.
My bed was literally a camping cot.
One time I came home to no electricity because my roommate, who was in charge of the bills, didn’t have enough money to pay her share.
I couldn’t stand it anymore, and walked out early on my unofficial sublease.

This was the first time I got my own room and had my own space! Wow oh wow.
I loved walking to school down this tree-lined road.
This was a crazy busy time in my life with graduation approaching. Spent lots of long hours holed up in my room finishing my thesis project.

I lived here and commuted across the river to my job in the West Village everyday.
I worked 10-hour days and got paid $0.
Across the street from my apartment was Hoboken Station, and the 6 a.m. commuter rail was my morning alarm.
Had the most amazing view of the Manhattan skyline every night.

My first Bay Area home.
This is when I finally started learning to cook on my own.
I loved living within walking distance to downtown San Mateo. Philz was my secondary place of residence.
My hoarder roommate turned out to be crazy.

Moved here because of the 24 Hour Fitness and Trader Joe’s located within walking distance.
Lived here for a happy 3 years.
Had great roommates for the first time in my life.
Found joy and stability for the first time in my adult life.

And that brings us to 2021. The lease on my apartment was ending and Simon and I were starting to get our finances in order to make this house thing a reality. We started casually looking and set our sights on the South San Francisco neighborhood and its surroundings. As we got familiar with the market, our needs changed and our budgets shifted. Here’s an illustrated house hunting diary showing every house we toured, from single-family to duplex, condos, and more.

Every week, we combed through Zillow listings, scheduled open houses, and drove from city to city looking at potential future homes. At first, it was exciting! Dreaming about living in beautifully staged spaces, determining what the commute would be, and how I’d landscape my garden.

By August, we had put in a handful of offers and got humiliatingly beat out each time. We couldn’t compete with these all cash offers. We even lost out on a complete fixer upper of a house! Defeated, we put house hunting on a pause and took a break.

Tips & advice for a first-time homebuyer

Find an agent you trust.
You’ll spend lots of time on Redfin and Zillow. (I prefer Redfin because they have more functionality for serious buyers.) You’ll see lots of pretty pictures but they don’t speak to quality. You have to see it in person.
Learn about neighborhoods. You’ll need to get a sense of which areas you’ll like and where points of interests are (public transportation, grocery shopping, parks, shopping centers) so you don’t waste time looking at houses in areas you don’t like.
Spend time “window shopping” and studying recently sold homes to learn how to value a house against market demands . What features of a house raise or lower its sell price? What aspects can you sacrifice if you have a smaller budget?
Do your math. When evaluating a single-family home versus a condo, calculate the break even point after taking into consideration HOA fees. What will your monthly payment end up being? How does that affect your personal finances?
Learn to read disclosures. Focus on inspection reports.
Make smart offers. It’s about quality over quantity.
Write a love letter. Although offer price is much more important, a letter doesn’t hurt.

On a fateful Saturday in August, Simon’s dad, our realtor, took us to see a funky split-level house located in a foggy neighborhood I’d never considered before. We toured it, knew it was too good for our humble offer price, but sent an offer in anyway. The next day, the owners reached out to ask us questions about moving logistics. Oh my god they accepted our offer?!?

It’s Official!

On a Tuesday in September, we got our keys, moved in, and live happily ever after. Just kidding.

Being a homeowner isn’t easy. The Home Depot trips, the bills, the yard, the plumbing, the hardwood floors, the uninvited animals and pests, the never-ending house improvement projects… there is always something to worry about or fix or revamp.

But also there is so much security in knowing I have a home now. A place to call my own and make the rules to. I’m thrilled to move into this next chapter of my life with my best friend. Thank you to everyone who’s helped make this happen. You know who you are.

Stay tuned for part II: decorating la casa. The fun has just begun.