I talk about “adulting” a lot.

But truth is I still don’t entirely feel like a full grown adult, even though I’m going through the motions. Unfortunately there isn’t a coming of age party that officially marks your status change from emerging adulthood to full-fledged adulthood.

I feel like being an adult is creating your individual identity and forging a life that you love. It’s doing things you want to do in the way you want to do it. Now that I’m in my mid-20s, I’m getting much closer to becoming the woman I want to be. And this year, I feel like I’ve made substantial progress through personal achievements I’m proud of and more importantly, developed a newfound understanding of what I should be doing at this stage in my life.

This year, I…

wait, there’s more!

This year I also moved into a gorgeous new office on the sunny side of the bay, saw the Jonas Brothers and Sara Bareilles live, took a day trip to Phoenix with my coworkers, binged the entirety of Suits, rode bikes on my birthday, played guitar outside the confines of my bedroom, made mooncakes from scratch, went wedding dress shopping with my best friend, took my sister to Europe, got braces, learned to love flossing, visited the Salk Institute, got a massage for the first time, won a hackathon and upgraded my camera lens, went to a garlic festival, rode in a self-driving car, shipped my first big design project, visited a Friends set, walked a dog for the first time, took Simon to two Broadway shows in SF, met Tae Bo creator Billy Blanks, dined at Chez Panisse, cooked Christmas dinner, and went to Disneyland!

I learned that…

• No amount of cool bucket list highlights or extraordinary accomplishments beats great company. See your friends and family often and plan things with them as much as you can.

• You build your own unique career path. That means you show up to work and ask for what you want. No one’s going to hold your hand, through work or through life.

• I am happiest when I spent time with loved ones, work out, and eat or make amazing food. Yes, I reviewed all my weekly “Good Things That’ve Happened This Week” list and tallied up the categories for the year. Data doesn’t lie!

• Loneliness is a symptom of neglecting self-care. Living on your own is hard, but don’t forget, you always have yourself to depend on.

• Following your curiosity is a better goal than following your passion.

• Investing your money is passive income. Don’t just let it sit in your savings account.

• Learning never ends. There is so much I don’t know, and I should learn as much as I can before life gets in the way.

• Parents age, and they need my help now more than ever.

• I’m a morning person.

• Joy > happiness.

• If you don’t set goals, a year will flash by in the blink of an eye and leave you wondering what happened? On that note…

2020 Resolutions!

1. Less guilt. Practice self-compassion and be unapologetically me.

2. Stop trying to do things I’ve lost interest in. I’m curious about an endless stream of things and literally don’t have the time or mental capacity to act on all my hobbies, and I’m okay with that. So I’m telling myself to return that book, close those tabs, throw away that flyer. If I can let go off physical clutter I can let go of past ideas. They are not that precious.

3. Focus on my own sh*t and accept that there are things I just don’t care about. I don’t care about the newest TV shows, beauty trends, or taking care of plants. I don’t want to watch a baseball game or play a new video game. So what? I choose to spend my precious time doing things I care about.

4. Run a half marathon.

5. Make art. Remember that my goals for my own art have changed, and that I should only make art I’m passionate about. For now that is fine art photography.

6. Start teaching body combat.

7. Work harder at work. Take initiative and own projects.

8. Work on personal finance, fight lifestyle creep, and save more.

9. Not buy uncomfortable shoes. Cute shoes are not worth the physical pain and resulting bad mood.

Okay, that’s all! If I add more I’ll just forget them. So here’s to 2019, a year of adulting. And to 2020, a year of truly becoming. Cheers to the new decade!