In 2013, Simon and Sophia met at a boba shop in their happiest college town of San Luis Obispo, quickly becoming friends. Over the next two years, their friendship blossomed as he barged into her life way more than the average person. She was super busy all the time, but couldn’t shake this boy who seemed to always be around, in the good times and bad. He just kept showing up. She fell in love before she even knew she liked him. Two summers after they met, they both realized the feeling was mutual, and made it official.

Through almost 9 years of falling in love, they’ve endured a long-distance relationship, cross-country moves, life changes, a pandemic, hard conversations, and beautiful moments, learning to grow as best friends and life partners who keep showing up for each other. Last April, the pair got engaged at one of Sophia’s favorite places in San Francisco, Sutro Baths, and started planning the biggest party of their lives.

Welcome to Italy (Kind of)

I always knew I wanted a garden wedding, one that’s full of nature but manicured enough to look upscale. A spot with charming architecture that could serve as a the backdrop for this special day without requiring much more decor. And a hidden gem unique enough and just the right size to host a wedding that didn’t look like anyone else’s.

As a photographer, my vision for the venue was centered around good natural lighting. I wanted a venue where you couldn’t even find a bad angle, where all the heavily-photographed events would be outdoors but in the shade, and sun would do its magic thing during a SoCal summertime golden hour.

At the Villa del Sol d’Oro, we found that perfect place.

The villa, a historical landmark in Pasadena, California, was designed in the 1920s by Wallace Neff, one of the lions of the golden age of California architecture. Since then, it’s transformed into a private Catholic girls’ school, and frequently serves as a filming location for numerous television and movie productions. Some of my favorite movies and shows of all time, including Princess Diaries, Legally Blonde, and Chuck, have notable scenes that were filmed on this historic property.

And just like that, the wedding was on. The villa served as our central setting for the tea ceremony, getting ready, our western ceremony, and the reception dinner.

I. The Tea Ceremony

We started the wedding weekend with a common Chinese wedding tradition, the tea ceremony. This family tradition allowed us to pay respects to our parents and family elders in an intimate setting before the big day. Our bridesmaids and groomspeople showed up to help out.

II. The Ceremony

Wedding day started in a hotel room in Pasadena. I woke up at 5am to finish writing my vows, and shortly after Simon came over so we could get an early start on all the unfinished tasks: place the cake order, order the desserts, pay vendor balances, pack all our attire. (The grind never ends.) We drove over to the venue to get everything set up as our wedding party arrived to help. The next few hours were a flurry of tablecloth steaming, tangerine cutting, cake decorating, bouquet arranging, and attempting to eat while we bounce around the villa trying to find one another. Oh, and at some point we needed to get ready ourselves.

III. The Party

We put a ring on it! Time to celebrate.

Planning this thing

Because time, energy, and resources are limited in life, you can either plan an aesthetic wedding full of photo moments, or a hell of a good time. For us, the goal was always to throw a meaningful, personal, intimate, and delightful dinner party for our guests. So rather than looking at pretty photos for inspiration, I figured out the stories I wanted to tell — about ourselves, about our relationships with our guests, about the venue — and aimed to create an entertaining and enchanting atmosphere that touched everyone’s hearts.

We did a lot of things differently to make our wedding “ours.” Maybe too much DIY. But somehow, all of my ambitious visions played out like a dream come true. There was not one ounce of downtime in the day, for better or for worse. The boba was flowing, our friends were puzzling, parents were taking group selfies, and the bubble waffle orders getting fulfilled as fast they could. Guests didn’t want to leave the dance floor even though they had early flights to catch. The night was so entertaining people stayed until the literal end when the venue manager personally escorted us off the premises. The next day, Simon and I came back to finish off the abundance of leftover cake, desserts, and food. Days later, people sent us their completed crosswords to be “graded.” We had officially thrown the best party ever.

But all of this doesn’t just happen. Planning this wedding without help was a year-long undertaking that drove us crazy at points. A quick timeline breakdown for our friends who may be in this stage of their planning. This was our experience:

• 10 months before: Researching, recovering from sticker shock, visiting venues, booking important vendors (venue, catering, photographer) and vision planning. I used Figma as my all-in-one whiteboard to paste inspiration, write lists and rough schedules, design invites, map seating charts, etc

• 5 months before: Sending invites, building the website, and booking other optional vendors (video, DJ, coordinator, musician, hotel)

• 3 months before: Tastings, tailoring our attire, booking other last-minute vendors (desserts, makeup)

• 2 months before: Finalizing details, RSVP deadline, writing the detailed timeline, buying stuff

• Last month: Calling vendors to go over timeline, printing paper goods

• Last week: Shopping for drinks, arranging florals, transporting, and boxing up everything for my day-of coordinator to execute

All the other times in-between was spent communicating to parents and the wedding party, online shopping for attire, managing RSVPs, and fielding questions. If you DIY your wedding like we did, all your free time with your spouse may turn into working time, but manage expectations to avoid burnout. Planning a “destination” wedding outside our home city also presented an added layer of difficulty, as we had to schedule multiple wedding tasks during our visits to LA.

Tips

• Give yourself grace. Sometimes, you’ll just have to bite the bullet and spend a bit more on something. Other times, you’ll have to make a decision that someone else isn’t happy with. It’ll be okay.

• Planning happens in spurts. Don’t let it consume a whole year of your life. Don’t let it give you main character energy amongst all your friends and family.

• Communicate everything to guests through email in the months, weeks, days leading up to the big day, so they ask less questions. I planned a whole comms schedule like a marketing campaign.

• Recruit proactive, helpful friends to be in your wedding party — ones who will aid you on your big day, not make your life harder. Give them a timeline and tasks they can reference. Because you won’t available to project manage the day-of.

• Budget lots of buffer time in your timeline. Start the day as early as possible. Don’t worry about too much downtime or being bored — it will not happen.

• Finish writing your vows early in advance, I’m serious. Inspiration will not strike last minute. It doesn’t have to be perfect.

• There is a balance between looking photogenic and actually enjoying yourself. Figure out where you want to be on that spectrum, and allocate your time accordingly. (Smiling will get tiring!)

• Encourage friends to vlog so you can see different perspectives of the wedding. Because the sad fact of the matter is that you won’t be able to attend your own party as much as you thought you would.

• Enjoy every moment of the day, and be present. Time will fly by faster than you’ve ever known.

Thank you’s

Last but not least, a shoutout to Savan and team for making our DIY wedding look expensive af, and capturing every interaction and detail with the same magic we felt in that moment. Thank you for making us feel and look like celebrities, and preserving the memories of this day for us to share for decades to come. These photos remind us that we really had the wedding of our dreams, despite it being so homemade and pulled together last minute. It’s truly astonishing that something so emotional, meaningful, and tear-inducing could also be so beautiful on the outside.

Thank you to our friends and family who helped out, especially the ones literally DIY-ing the wedding as it happened — laying out desserts, moving around decorations, helping our vendors, and vlogging everything. You know who you are.

Thank you to our amazing vendors for making our big day the success it was. Thank you for working with unexpected hiccups and doing everything you did behind the scenes to make sure Simon and I could focus on enjoying time with our guests and even be delightfully surprised along the way even though we planned so much of it. It really takes a village, and we're so happy we did this with all of you!

VENDORS

Venue @villadelsoldoro

Coordinator @sincerelyharveys

DJ/MC @adm_entertainment

Photographer @savanphotography

Videographer @athertonmediagroup

Catering @lapizzeriaco 

Charcuterie @lagrazingco

Boba Bar @mainssqueezecatering

Dessert @bubblepufftea

Rentals @lapinataparty

Musician @beeeigen

Cake @wholefoods and Nini Bakery

Wedding dress @garnetandgracebridalboutique

Reception and tea ceremony dresses @thredup

Tuxedo @hiveandcolony

Rings @no3.shop @catbird @mejuri

Planning, design, paper goods, and florals by me ✌️