Not that much has changed since last year. I’m happy to be growing into the self I was always meant to be — an unapologetically ambitious, gut-listening, calendar-jamming, relentlessly curious, introspective, and solitude-loving eternal optimist.

But because I have terrible memory, I find it worth my while to reflect on the past twelve months to see how far I’ve come. Back in the day, these annual reflections would be a list of accomplishments I took pride in. But now I don’t find it as meaningful to base performance off singular achievements, but rather the daily routine that builds slow and steady growth, step by step.

This year, I…

1. stopped reacting to things

In 2023, I finally stopped being obsessed with productivity. With the influx of advice and noise circulating the internet, the more overwhelming and pointless it becomes to follow it all. I’m not going to “transform my life” by waking up and staring at the sun for 20 minutes. I’m not going to live an extremely frugal FIRE lifestyle, no matter how much they promise it’ll pay off. I’m not downloading Tik Tok. I don’t listen to people who are “shoulding” others, nor will I be “shoulding” myself. I set my own values and give myself grace. All of this has helped me recover from the impulsiveness that dominated my youth and influenced me to do things I didn’t want to do.

Growing up with a mother who projected her own insecurities and never failed to remind me there is always more to do and achieve, personal contentment has been hard for me. But lately, I find myself no longer needing to prove myself to the world (via social media or the internet), my employers, my family, or my friends. I spent my whole life doing so but nowadays, I just don’t care anymore. I don’t get exceptionally angry anymore, I don’t pick fights with Simon, I don’t overreact over trends or news, and I don’t let the drama of other people’s lives affect how I live and perceive mine. Just like the guided meditations say: notice thoughts come by, and just let them float away. I don’t need to react to everything. That’s how I find peace and joy in my private life.

Above: So the photos in this post don’t really accompany any of the surrounding text, because again, the glamorous moments captured in snapshots aren’t reflective of things I’m truly proud of. But they’re here to remind me of some of the beautiful times from this year.

2. Kept learning

Years ago I concluded that school doesn’t actually teach you stuff. So after I finished school, I started creating my own education. I’m always looking to see what else I can learn, what else I can be inspired by, what else I should think about. This year I studied:

• Business (via Section4): The business education I’ve always wanted but didn’t get in school. I continued on these self-paced courses taught by industry leaders on Section 4, learning about product, marketing, business and brand strategy.

• Psychology (via City College): The 101 course I’ve always been curious about but never formally learned. I learned about the Yerkes-Dodson Law bell curve, and how I get bored and unmotivated often because things (work, school, etc) aren’t stimulating enough. Also, I was probably conditioned incorrectly as a child when it came to positive and negative reinforcement.

• Nutrition (via City College): A topic so basic and essential to human survival but dangerous to the profits of the American food industry and big pharma, that public education tries to teach as little of it as possible. I learned more in a free city college 101 course than I did listening to Andrew Huberman, taking AG1 supplements, or trying a CGM. I think we as a society fall into the trap of influencers, diets, and persuasive marketing because we lack knowledge of actual facts. The basics of carbs, proteins, fats, vitamins, minerals, water, and how it affects us everyday… it’s time I educate myself better.

• Cantonese (via City College): Language is the secret to connecting with people. I want to connect with my in-laws, and understand my own Chinese heritage more. This semester I progressed from pure vocabulary memorization into sentence-making, which is a huge achievement!

• Tai chi (via City College): I’ve been curious about tai chi ever since discovering Les Mills’ Body Flow warmups. Although I’m not so gung-ho about memorizing choreography, I love the concept of slowing down, practicing body awareness, feeling my connection to breath, and harnessing an internal energy that fuels not only my physical body but spiritual mind.

• Climbing: It’s a sport I discovered late last year, got excited about early this year, and choose to commit to. I never wanted to participate in stereotypical Silicon Valley hobbies, but I realize how much climbing builds community and serves as motivation for me to train. It falls in line with my philosophy on doing hard things, as well as the idea of social hangouts at the gym.

• Writing: I continue writing on this blog so I can hear my own voice, form my own opinions, and articulate them into cohesive narratives. The world is so noisy when you consume. Writing is a forcing function to synthesize and critically think.

3. Prioritized health

I wrote more about this topic here, but wanted to reiterate how big a focus health was for me this year. I love living an active lifestyle where I do stuff, and not just consume stuff (fad diets, fake foods, trendy restaurants, Panera lemonades). After learning how to eat better and developing a gym routine, I feel like I have control over my body and health. Instead of complaining about America’s food industry and obesogenic environment, I’m proud to take matters into my own hands. But at the end of the day, as hard as you try, you can’t be healthy all the time. I invest in my health (overall condition), so I can deal with stress and unhealthy behavior (e.g. traveling, working more than usual, or holiday eating). Joe Holder explains it best.

4. Started planning a wedding

I’m a girl who grew up watching romcoms of the 2000’s, and a creative person who loves to stage beautiful photo ops, obsess over aesthetics, and entertain others. So of course I love wedding planning. There was a month this year where I got extremely obsessed and fell into a flow state of vision-boarding, and planned out every minute detail of a tablescape.

But as I start booking venues and vendors, I realized how the wedding industrial complex is just a big money trap and how all of has become increasing superficial and frivolous. My Instagram has caught wind I’m wedding planning as well, and serves up ridiculous inspiration telling me what I “should” do. So I’ve decided to question every practice of typical modern wedding, strip away things that don’t matter, and plan ours with intention.

Other than just throwing a party for 100+ people, I’m also learning to plan a life for the two of us; not just myself. Being in a relationship is committing to today, but getting married is committing for life. That’s a little intimidating.

5. experienced some new things

As I settle into my late 20’s, life is less about trying new things but establishing a routine. But that doesn’t mean I don’t say yes to new opportunities. This year, for the first time, I successfully propagated a snake plant, saw a physical therapist, got acupuncture, tracked my glucose intake, lost my taste (for just a day!), watched Funny Girl, SIX, and Shucked, attended a Les Mills Live, attended a design conference, experienced a loss in the family, used Gen AI to retouch photos, rode in a self-driving car, tried mangosteen, santol, cherimoya, durian (and liked it!), learned to crochet, saw a nutritionist, hired a photographer, climbed outdoors, got engaged, rode a SamTrans bus, rented clothes, ordered room service, hosted Thanksgiving, went to an Equinox, tried Barry’s, used my Spanish skills, made a Reel, built a website from scratch, referred freelance work to someone else, bought a Christmas tree, attended a movie screening, skiied, saw a shooting star, and hosted my family at my house for Christmas.

6. Cherished Moments that moved me

• Hiking Yosemite with people I barely know and feeling humbled by nature

• Losing a grandparent, learning to deal with grief, and bonding with family

• The flow of learning Webflow, HTML, and CSS

• The ambiguity and immense impostor syndrome that comes with switching teams at work

• Seeing my grandmas in China and remembering there are more people out there who love me unconditionally

• Taking my mom to a nice airport lounge to indulge a little at the end of a long trip

• The endorphin rush mid-Tough Mudder after we’ve just dunked our entire bodies in ice cold water

• Simon getting down on one knee at my favorite place in San Francisco

• Feeling nostalgia for childhood summers while spending 4th of July in LA

• Watching Alex Newell performing “Independent Woman” on Shucked, which was an out of body experience. God bless live theater.

• Dining with new coworkers I met at Config, feeling like we could build anything in this world

• Giving my parents their first in-person tour of my house

Above: 2023 in travels. I’ve been so fortunate to get the opportunity to travel and see the world, even if just for a weekend. Eternally curious to see how the other half lives.

Other observations and hot takes

• I’d much rather be a B or C student, and learn what I’m there to learn, than waste time following every rule just to get an A.

• When hanging out with friends, family, or acquaintances, you can actually make conversations more interesting rather than relying on them to naturally flow. Lately I’ve loved conversation decks like Parents are Human, and the BestSelf Icebreaker deck.

• Cardio is to improve heart health, where strength training changes the body. I’ve always known this but this year I really observed this firsthand.

• Renting makes life better: clothing, camping equipment, etc. We should all stop owning so much.

• It’s worth getting the bruises and scrapes to move your body in new ways.

• It’s worth the food poisoning getting to travel and experience the world. (I think?)

• I don’t think it’s worth striving to be really rich. True wealth isn’t connected to anything material, but rather the freedom to do whatever, go wherever, whenever you want. Not to say I don’t want to live comfortably and provide for my family, but I truly believe “mo’ money, mo’ problems.”

• Maybe success isn’t the top of the career ladder, because those jobs are usually high-paying but demanding. Our immigrant parents may tout the importance of “hard work” to achieve success, but maybe my definition of success is simply not to work at all? 🤷‍♀️

2023 in the world

While most news is tragic or stupid or completely untrue, there were some moments I loved in world news, tech, pop culture, and the current zeitgeist: Asians sweeping the Oscars, the mass adoption of new AI tech, SNL (so much SNL), the legendary Eras Tour and the business prowess of one Miss Taylor Swift, the Barbie movie’s marketing, and NY Times’ Connections, Spy X Family season 2, and as of late, the soundtrack from Shucked the Musical. (I have zero shame blasting music about corn.) I’ve also gotten to discover entertainment from the past I ended up loving: Knives Out, Ready Player One, Nicki Minaj’s Queen album, and Brandi Carlile.

This list is vastly shorter than ones from previous years, and goes to show how incredibly bored I am by Hollywood, the internet, technology, and anything that’s “new.” Obviously the writer’s strike didn’t help either, as content has become increasingly “optimized” by the bots and AI. Good quality, original storytelling and entertainment is becoming difficult to find, as studios chase profits over creativity, and creators follow trends instead of creating unique content. There is so much trash out there! As a result, I’ve found myself more interested in history, old stories, old films, and the physical world.

In 2024 I want to…

1. Create more. Just because I work my dream job doesn’t mean I can stop exploring and tinkering as a creative. To be honest, I’ve kind of forgotten to build and work on my “creativity” island this year. In the new year, I want to build websites, explore new tech, tell stories through film, and make art for print. This is the work I take most pride in.

   “Don’t spend all your time and energy just consuming. You were born to create – we all were. That’s what it means to be human.”

2. Find meaning in my work. I’ve become increasingly uninspired by the 9-to-5 work, but ultimately I need to be responsible for my own career fulfillment. In 2024, I want to get deeper into product strategy, level up as a lead designer, and get a feel for management.

3. Listen to my body. Don’t overdo it. Limit my time at the gym, and take a break when something starts to hurt. Track my blood pressure and lower my stress so it doesn’t affect my body.

4. Increase my attention span. Pay attention to things happening in front of me, instead of living in my head, thinking about the future. Stop multi-tasking, because it’s making miss important things. Mindfulness is not just a practice, but a way of living.

5. Learn to be a partner for life. I want to reflect on what is it like to be part of a union, what it means to sacrifice for another person, what it feels like to think of your in-laws as your own family.

6. Practice more gratitude. Because you can never have too much of it.

Cheers! 🥂