Positivity & Gratitude

When I started writing this blog post two months I wanted to start with “The world is such a sh*thole right now.” I was angry, I felt helpless, and I had anxiety-induced heartburn for the first couple of weeks.

But when shelter-in-place started I also felt immense gratitude. Even though my physical body reacted negatively to the devastating daily news, my thoughts shifted to positivity. At least my loved ones are healthy, at least I have food to eat, at least I have a roof over my head, I thought.

I started to keep a list of positive happy things that happened everyday. These might be great things happening out in the world, good things that have happened in my own life, or mostly just things I found a newfound appreciation for. In times of distress, we can complain about the unjust nature of the world, or we can see the situation from a place of positivity and gratitude.

The sanctity of home

I think something we’ve all come to realize is that home is sacred. If this was going to be the setting for my life 24/7, it better be a place that uplifts, energizes, calms. Sure, healing crystals might be able to do that for you, but for me, it’s the people I live with.

I’ve been sheltering-in-place at my parents’ house with my family. The first week was chaotic. It was an emotional roller coaster as we got used to living with one another again. Everyone had pent up anxiety about the state of the world, and we couldn’t help but unleash that stress on one another.

But over time, we found our groove. Things became more light-hearted and we started cracking jokes again. We watched movies instead of the news. We coordinated grocery lists and planned out fun meals to make. Chinese food one night, and pizza the next. My sister was in charge of dessert. Dinner everyday became a delight. I also insisted on helping out with chores and yard work. My mom was of course ecstatic to have me help with her workload, even though I was really just trying to incorporate sunshine and nature into my daily routine and escape into monotonous stress-relieving tasks. It was a win-win.

I can’t say I’ve never been a homebody, but I’ve definitely appreciated the little things so much more now that I’ve only been home. Without having to compare my at-home life to everyone else’s jet-setting adventures and life milestones during this time, I’ve learned to define what joy is for me. It can stem from the smallest of things, like eating fresh fruit, or making a trip out to Costco. Even making coffee for my parents has become a joy. I don’t even like coffee, but the act of making something meaningful, however small, is soothing.

Reconnecting with my childhood

Waking up everyday in my childhood bed has been surreal. This was the room I grew up in, and now that there’s nothing else to do, I’ve retreated back into a version of my former self.

I remember killing time as a kid, drawing, playing Wii games, hiding in my room pretending to study for the SAT but really just watching YouTube videos on my iPod Touch. Meals with my family and hanging out in the backyard under our fruit tress was the daily routine. Those are some of my fondest memories, those moments spent alone and with loved ones in this very house. Now that I’m back here, I’ve ended up doing many of the same things. Do you ever really grow out of your childhood interests?

I’ve also realized that you never appreciate where you grew up until you’ve seen the world. You don’t appreciate your fruit trees until you’ve overpaid for tangerines at Whole Foods. You don’t appreciate the suburbs until you’ve lived in the city. And boy do I appreciate the heck out of this safe little suburb and this quiet house tucked into the middle of this small dead-end street.

On Happiness

One of the cool things I did during quarantine was take an online class, Yale’s The Science of Well-Being. (I highly recommend.) Professor Laurie Santos reveals misconceptions about happiness and the research behind proven methods that do improve wellness. It’s basically the secret to happiness, and based on what I chose to illustrate each day, is believe it or not spot on.

• Signature Strengths - using your top character strengths in new ways. My top strengths are learning and curiosity. These traits are foundational to the things I choose to do during my free time: learning to play new music, experimenting with a new recipe, or trying a new workout. Learning new things and exploring what’s out there gets me into my state of “flow” and fills my life with meaning and excitement.

• Savoring/Gratitude - taking time to savor the things you enjoy and expressing gratitude for people and things in your life. I take time every night to reflect on the highlights of my day. I relive these moments, draw them, and write about them. Happiness on repeat.

• Kindness - increasing your acts of kindness. Lately, I’ve been helping out my family any chance I can. It’s kind of how we Chinese people express gratitude. We’ve also been helping our friends with grocery runs and delivery. Helping others is so intrinsically rewarding.

• Social Connection - making connections with strangers and acquaintances along with scheduling time for the people in your life. In times like this, all we really have are each other. Talking with friends, chatting with relatives, or playing online games with others is such a delight. Let’s take care of each other a little more.

• Exercise/Sleep/Meditation - increasing your physical activity to at least 30 minutes a few times a week, and making sure you sleep at least 7 hours a night several times a week. I’ve always known I thrive off the post-workout endorphin high. But getting exercise in different ways, like playing ping-pong with my dad, trimming trees in the yard, or streaming yoga meditation with my coworkers has been extremely fun.

In the misconceptions chapter, she discusses hedonic adaptation, the human tendency to return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major recent positive or negative events or life changes. Even though covid has thrown a wrench in our lives, all is not lost. We’re still okay. We can still be happy.

The Importance of Art

When we’re in times of distress we turn to art. Now that life is no longer about the business, the money-making, and the rat race, it’s about discovering joy in our everyday lives, and following through with things we’ve always wanted to do. And it’s always art. Dancing, singing, cooking, baking, painting, crafting, sewing, video games, movies, TV shows, music, Photoshopping memes. Without artists we wouldn’t have entertainment, we wouldn’t have cooking blogs, Tik Tok challenges, YouTube content. We cope through art. We express through art. People say art flourishes when times are good, but I choose to believe art is always around. It just make take a little digging to bring out that creativity within ourselves.

One of my old professors recently wrote something about treating shelter-in-place as an “artist-in-residence” instead of a government-mandated quarantine. I love that. We are all just artists, residing in our homes, tinkering, discovering, playing, creating.

Art is our humanity. It’s what makes us people. We have a natural instinct to create, be it something useful, beautiful, long-lasting, or unique. Embrace “doing.”

And that’s been my quarantine so far. Every drawing you see here was a day in my life during this weird unprecedented time. Obviously there’s still more to come, but it’s nice to have a reminder of life, and its small joys. At the end of the day, I’m happy. I hope you are too.

A lovely blog reader suggested I syndicate my blog content over to Medium, so I made an account and started with this one! I’m still not 100% sure about the platform, but I’ll give it a shot. If you liked this post, send some claps my way and feed my inner Tinkerbell.